Testical Squeezing Authority – TSA

I took a trip to Florida this past weekend for business. I have to admit, I have not been on an airplane for a while. I used to work for American Airlines years ago and traveled often. I was a pro – literally. Since my time there, my current position as President of Professional Blog Service has not put me on too many airplanes, as we are able to conduct most our business online.

I used to travel a lot. I took my first trip when I was just 1 year old. It was to Budapest, Hungary. My brother said I cried all the way over to London on our Pan American (Pan Am) flight. (At least that what my brother says. I don’t remember).

As I got older, I took a lot more flights even in my youth to visit relatives in Europe. I flew a lot to Florida as well. Back in those days, it was always fun, even when things went wrong. Trips to Budapest were always an adventure because it was deep dark communism in the 60s and 70s. There always seemed to be a hundred check points with “passport please” from a uniformed army guy making sure that one of their citizens was not escaping. Airports and borders had uniformed army with AK-47s strapped to their back.

Have times changed. Going through the airport today in the United States is just a pain in the catooshi (as my wife would say-though I am not sure that is how she spells it). Instead of passports, we now show our driver license. We take our shoes off, our belts off, our leg braces off and are herded like cattle. Old men with hip replacements are scanned like suspects because the guy who can barely walk is got to be a suspect because the metal detector went off. Today, I feel like always saying MOOOO! when I am in line.

The Hungarians were actually smarter about processing people. They asked you questions about where are you going and what are you doing. If you had a US Passport they usually waived you through or asked what you were bringing into the country. They could not have you bringing blue jeans into the country and selling them on the black market.

For my flight to Florida, I made sure I wore shorts and sandals and had my laptop bag and a small weekend bag with clothes and a Dobson kit. I wanted to get through security without taking any clothing off with shoes I could slip on and off. Despite this preparation, I overlooked one small thing. I brought shaving cream so I could shave and be presentable for my client meeting.

Wouldn’t you know it, they pulled my bag aside. I am startled. What? It’s full of clothes. “Oh yeah, my Dobson kit.” The girl says, “I am sorry, this is too big (shaving cream), it has to stay here.” I am thinking, “Damn, I was so careful.

Here is my beef with the whole episode. She asked me no questions. We are spending all this money confiscating harmless items out of people’s Dobson kits without asking a single question. If you want me to feel safe, ask me questions, look at how I bought my ticket, find out what is in my head. I will gladly answer questions to where I am from, where I am going and what I am doing with confidence. I have nothing to hide. I am not a suspect either.

You need it because a terrorist can get through. We are spending all this money on machines for little old men to get a full body scans because their hip replacement triggered the metal detector. What a waste of time and money. If someone is going to blow up a plane, they are going to be nervous. You find nervous people and train your security to find nervous people. We need to look for people. The current system is a complete waste of money.

The current budget is $6.0 BILLION. $1 BILLION of which is printed money. To top it all off, Michael Chertoff is using his influence to peddle the new full body scanners.

According to the Washington Post:
Chertoff’s advocacy for the technology dates back to his time in the Bush administration. In 2005, Homeland Security ordered the government’s first batch of the scanners—five from California-based Rapiscan Systems.

Today, 40 body scanners are in use at 19 U.S. airports. The number is expected to skyrocket at least in part because of the Christmas Day incident. The Transportation Security Administration this week said it will order 300 more machines.

In the summer, TSA purchased 150 machines from Rapiscan with $25 million in American Recovery and Reinvestment Act funds.

What Chertoff has failed to reveal in his message. Rapiscan are his clients. And, Congress approved the funds. BOOOOO!

As we try to herd the masses through, the bad guy is getting through. The current system relies on technology to find things, despite the fact that it is people that commit the terrorist acts.

“WE SHOULD BE LOOKING FOR BAD PEOPLE, NOT THINGS!” Stop the madness already!

Let’s find a way to find people. The Israelis have been doing it for years. I would rather see us spend money providing a real security process than lining Michael Chertoff’s pockets and the pockets of his buddies with printed money.