On my trip to Florida this weekend, every flight was full. I could not even get a boarding pass, until I reached the gate. Only from Indianapolis to Atlanta did I see empty seats and they were not many. I have already provided my frustration with the TSA. (Remember? Find people, not things).

I flew Delta on the way down and am returning US Airways on the return. The trip to Atlanta was short and sweet. Atlanta Airport was busy on Saturday morning. The foot traffic seemed non-stop in the airport and it was hard to find any place to sit. There were lines for food and coffee. I am thinking to myself, “I thought we were in a recession?”

I show up at the gate for my connecting flight to West Palm Beach looking for a seat. The gate agent says, “Well, you have to wait. The flight is overbooked and I requested volunteers. I think I have enough and you should get on the flight.” I say, “Ok fine, just please don’t stick me in a middle seat.” (When God wants to punish you, he sticks you in a middle seat). To add a little drama to the trip, we had a delay. The flight attendant assigned to our flight was injured on her previous flight. They had to look for a replacement.

I got on Facebook and asked a former classmate from High School who is a flight attendant, if she is available. Did not sound like it. She sounded like she had her own problems and was not about to give me any sympathy. She ignored me.

So, you know how it is when a flight is delayed and people are waiting. The waiting area is overflowing with bodies, there is no place to sit and I need a plug to charge my laptop. So, I decide to occupy some space in front of the window because it appears a seat is empty. Someone was saving it for their friend. No problem, I will just stand here. Luckily a guy gave me his seat, so he could find a plug. I decided I would rather eat my bagel and egg sandwich than find a plug.

I have to say, I like Delta’s standby board. I could see that a seat was assigned to me. All I had was my printed receipt that I had printed off before I left Indy. I just handed it to him when I was boarding and he printed off my seat assignment for me. So, I have to give the airlines credit, they have gotten more efficient in processing passengers at the gate, once it is time to board. (I know you road warriors out there are probably saying, well, duh and others may not agree).

You have to understand. Back in the day. They would pull your ticket, rubber band them, throw them into a bag. The bag would be sent to Barbados. They had an office workers key punch the ticket info into the back office system. Revenue would be posted a few days later. (What happened to all those keypunch operators in Barbados?)

We finally boarded the plane and were on our way. I arrived 45 minutes late. My Brother was waiting for me. As we started heading to his car, he got lost in the garage. (My brother is notorious for getting lost – so it was just a loving reminder of his being navigationally challenged). We back tracked and figured out where he parked. We were on our way.

For the return, there was drama too. I arrived at the airport on time. Since they took my shaving cream, I made it through security unscathed and grumpy. I had to make the sarcastic comment that I feel so much safer now having gone through security.

On to the gate! Well, my partner was with me. I leave him at Airtran and look for an outlet to plug my laptop so I could juice my phone. So, I head down to my gate, plug in all my devices to charge them up. He walks down. His flight is delayed because the afternoon Floridian thunderstorm shows up to wreak havoc on air traffic at Ft. Lauderdale.

Well, my flight is on-time. Crap – no it’s not. 20 minute delay? No problem with that. The flight is full! Every seat! So, I am happy, I have an aisle seat. I get back to my seat and there is a family sitting in it. The guy asks me, if I would switch seats. I reluctantly agree.

Now, everyone is coming onto the plane. All the seats are screwed up in the back. He sent me to the wrong row and I am sitting in someone else’s seat. I am mad at myself. I am thinking, Paul, used to be a pro. You know better. When the flight is full, you have to just sit in your assigned seat and make the deals after everyone has sat down.

Luckily it has worked out. I am still en route to my connection in Charlotte. We are running really tight. I have 15 minutes to get to my connection when I land. So, this story is not over. If I make the connection, no problems. If not, I am screwed because the delay was weather related. Based on what the Pilot is saying, we are getting no breaks to make up our time. There is rain slowing things down now.

Well, we landed. Everyone should have been able to make their flight. I had to go from concourse B at the end to Concourse C towards the end. It felt like a half mile walk.

Between the carriers, I found Delta’s people far more friendlier than the US Air crews. The flight attendants on the US Air flights seem cranky and scolding in a Sister Mary Elephant way. “Class, you need to turn those cell phones off now!” “Class, turn those cell phones off!” “TURN THOSE CELL PHONES OFF NOW!” – thaaank you.

I fell asleep on my leg from Charlotte to Indianapolis. I like to listen to music. They start the decent and I am finishing up a song. “Sir….turn your music off.” I roll my eyes. Let me finish my song.

The weekend adventure was over. I got off the plane, turned on Porcupine Tree and waited for my ride. The memory of flying over the weekend kept bringing me back to MOO. I miss the old days before all the rules, fears and baggage fees.